Santa’s transpo tips

Santa can walk, bike, roll, cycle, blade, sleigh, bus, limo the Rampage Route any way Santa sees fit. Santa supplies the Rampage, the route, the Reindeer Games — YOU join us!

Just a BIG reminder…being that we are hoofing it, make sure your footwear is good for walking (and dancing). Leave “ooh-la-la stilettos” at la casa.

Google Maps Santa is estimating the walking length of this year’s rampage to be 2 miles + the stairs (Santa warned you about those stairs, remember?)
And DART Santa wants to remind you that the cost for a local one day pass has gone from $4 to $5.

Santa needs some dough

Since the OFFICIAL DALLAS SANTA RAMPAGE once again is going cheap – DART rail – Santa is asking for donations (of any size) for your fave experiences along the way. In the past, Santa has provided snow for snow angels; Kazoos and Song sheets for Caroling; and Santa has even paid for props & prizes for Reindeer games.
(hey, Santa is gettin’ you low-cost booze specials, grinch!!!)
Although Rampage is a relatively inexpensive event, Santa does have some costs involved (and suppliers just don’t take ClausCheks for payment).

Send PayPal donations to dallassantarampage@gmail.com

Santa Rampage Rule #9

Santa pays his own damn bar tab and tips bartenders well for putting up with Santa!

** BRING CASH! **
(Small bills preferred.)
And your ID.

When Santa moves the Santa-crowd with “ho-ho-ho” (indicating time to head to the next stop), you do NOT want to be the lone Red-Suit flagging down a server or tender.

No kidding. Seriously. We’ll leave your ass. 😉

Where will Dallas Santas Rampage?

Santa says,
“We have Rampaged in the West End,
over East in Deep Ellum, and
down near South Side.
“This year Santa will Rampage
NORTH of downtown Dallas!!!”
That is right….SANTA RAMPAGE will be a bit north of where we have enjoyed our festivities in the past.
And this year Santa will travel by dart train and TROLLEY! 😉

Santa Rampage Rule #8

Dress the part, dammit!
You have had more than a month to plan for this shin-dig, so don’t just wear some Wal-crap hat and expect your jingle bells to get you all the red-dressed-hot-chicks!
TONS of places have Santa stuff. Get creative! Dress as Vixen, SmurfSanta, a Chanukah Chicken, JesusSanta, an Elf, SteamPunkSanta, One-legged-Hooker-Santa; hell, come as a damn snowflake…sure-as-shit know Texans won’t get any of the white stuff THIS season!
Bottom line: it’s just more fun in costume – so, deck your balls!
ho.

Santa Rampage Rule #7

During the evening, Santa’s BFFs (or at least high on the VIP list) include:

  • Police Officers
  • Security Guards
  • DART Safety Officers
  • Bouncers & Door Keepers
  • SantaStop Owners & Managers-on-Duty
  • Taxi Drivers
  • Parking Attendants & Valets
  • All local, state & federal Laws
  • Mom
Getting arrested is NOT FUN, for you and for anyone else involved! The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa’s antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to them.
ho.

Santa Rampage Rule #5

Each Santa is responsible for one Santa – SantaSelf. You are responsible for your own behavior, your own words, your own night of Rampage.
* If any catch comes on the low down, your piece is yours and other Santas will dis your ass and claim the “doe-no’s” to the law. (In other words, you fuck up…you are on your own. And we have no idea who the clown in the Santa costume is….)
~
Because nobody likes “that” Santa….
ho.

Santa Rampage Rule #4

Santa says “Remember The FOUR F*CKS”
1. Don’t f*ck with kids.
2. Don’t f*ck with cops.
3. Don’t f*ck with security.
4. Don’t f*ck with Santa.
* If any catch comes on the low down, your piece is yours and other Santas will dis your ass and claim the “doe-no’s” to the law. (In other words, you f*ck up…you are on your own. And we have no idea who the clown in the Santa costume is….)

Santa Rampage Rule #3

Santa doesn’t seek media attention. “Ho-ho-ho” is good. “Publicity ho” is lame.
Just like good sex, Santa likes the foreplay; cameras can snap the climax.
You will get teasers of the Rampage insights here, in this venue. You can share Santa with your friends. But no press release is sent to the media about where Santa will be on the 15th. Otherwise, *everybody* would want a lap dance.
ho.